feeling: crappy
listening to: Dave Matthews Band radio
ssooo its been awhile. I sort of got out of the blogging game for awhile. not that i think that tons of people are excited to read my blog every week... far from it i'm sure! if you are reading this i'm sure you were just bored and saw i posted something new! its more for me to get some of my thoughts out there or in order in my head.
its 2012 now. when did that happen?
i just turned 29, my baby boy just turned 5 and i just celebrated my 8 year anniversary with my husband. my oldest niece is going into HIGH SCHOOL next year... which means that M and i have been together for 14 years. (we started dating when Em was just about 6 months old.) my baby brother is turning 24 in about a week and i've been at my job for almost 8 years.
with all these numbers and milestones you have to wonder how this all happened, when did my life get so full? everything i listed up there is something that is a joy to me(well... being 29 might be iffy.) and something that defines me and my life.
blessed is the word i would use.
sometimes it takes awhile to actually see what is a blessing and why. and for me, in the last couple years, its taken me a little longer to realize that however bad i think my life might be at the moment, there are about 20 things that make it better than any other day!
its no secret that we've been on a roller coaster ride the last couple years. 2010 in particular is a year i'll never put on my list as top 10 great years. it WILL be on my shittiest years ever list.
as of August 2011 M and i have decided that we want to give it one more try. we are going to try for the second child that we've always dreamed about. now that E is 5(and MUCH older than i wanted him to be when we had a second baby), i can see the plus side of having only one child. for one, we are totally out of diapers! thats like money in the bank right there! he's self sufficient now. he can do most things on his own, or will try to do them anyways. he's going to start school next year which means money saved on daycare. (thats my hubby talking there.)
besides the fact that i've always wanted 2 kids, E wants a baby brother or sister. or as of recently he'd be okay with both or even three... whatev!
i feel like its almost a dis-service to him to not try once more to give him a playmate. i know he will make an amazing big brother! he loves babies, any baby that we see! and he just dotes on the younger kids at daycare.
just that plus makes it okay to have to go through the diapers and the daycare all over again. (i know my sitters won't be sad if we bring them another baby!)
in spite all of that back and forth. in my heart i know i need another baby to love. its always been "the plan" and its just hard to picture our lives without a second one!
and so here we are. one more try for the sake of our dream. and if, heaven forbid, it doesn't work out for some reason it will be the 3 of us and we will make E the happiest little boy ever. and spoil him to no end. lets be real here, we all know we won't be able to help ourselves!
other than that decision by us our 2011 has been uneventful in an eventful way. we just keep moving forward, working hard and getting ourselves under control. we are less than a year to being our of our short term debt. which is a crap term... short term debt that takes years to get out from under! blah! BUT our new saying is that soon we'll be "Oprah Rich!" thats not totally true, but we will have some more cash flow which will be amazing for us!
E is amazing us more than ever this year in pre-school. he can now spell some words and read just a little. his first word he learned to spell was CAT. not because of the animal, but because of the machinery. when he writes it he draws a triangle under the A. because "Mommy, thats how its spelled" i've been told!
his teacher has told us that he's all but ready for Kindergarten next year! which makes us happy!
so we are just trucking along, ready to go head long into the new year! i hope you have all had a year to remember and that you will work to make this one even better than the last!
Happy New Year!!
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