listening to: my ipod--Breaking Benjamin--what else!?
feeling: tired but happy.
its been a long week already. bad to say because its only wednesday. the holidays are always stressful for us though-like everyone i'm guessing? i'm never on top of the holiday shopping, in fact i just finished yesterday! :) we always have a million places to go and people to see in such a short time.
needless to say... we always fight. we had a blow out on Sunday so hopefully thats our one for the season.
i have to admit, that for the last couple years Christmas has been a dreaded holiday for me. i used to be all about putting up decorations, the tree, lights, attending church, and everything else that goes with it! but for a couple years now its just been an iffy thing. i could have pry lived without it.... sadly. having Ethan around has made it easier and harder. easier because he is SO excited about everything that has to do with Christmas. he points out lights everywhere. he knows how to turn on our Christmas tree. he knows that baby Jesus goes in the crib! its wonderful to be reminded of all the simplicity of the season through the eyes of a toddler.
its been hard because i want to give him the world! i want to buy him every single toy that he says he wants, i want to take him everywhere to show him everything! i want to give it all to him!! so its been especially hard to shop for him, or to tell others what to get for him. he only asked Santa for ONE thing. a tow truck. so Santa has-or will- deliver just that to him! *pats self on the back*
now that the day is actually closer ive become less stressed and more excited. i'm planning to go to Christmas Eve mass tomorrow night-i havent been to that for a year or two, so that will be great! we are having Russell family pictures tonight while everyone is home! i hope my child will feel well enough to behave decently.... *crosses fingers tightly*
the next thing to look forward to is my birthday. as of monday the 28th of Decemeber i will be 27 years of age. i did have a slight panick attack about this age earlier this year. mostly due to the fact that my life plan was to have both of my children by the time i was 24.... apparently that didn't happen! not all bad... but i DO want to have my second child within the next year. i pray that i wont be 30 and just having my second child. not that there is anyting wrong with that... its just not for me!
but i've gotten past that... and actually am looking forward to being 28 soon(i just hate odd numbers...!!) i'll stick happily, with 27 for a year though! the funny thing is that sometimes i still feel like a kid right out of college. i have a good job that i know tons about! i can talk your ear off about photography/photoshop and designing until i turn blue! but sometimes i just feel like i'm a noob (thats a COD term for you!) i'm not sure if i'll ever grow out of that. maybe when Ethan is 15 i'll actually start to feel like a true adult! arg! Ethan at 15 -- panick attack!!
so all in all, this week is turning out to be decent! i hope that it continues that way! i also hope that my little family has a chance to sit together and think about the true meaning of Christmas and what a blessing we have in each other!
Merry Christmas everyone!
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