sometimes.....

doing: trying to work. its harder today....
listening to: nothing. awesome nothingness!

i don't have anything real to write about, except to reiterate the fact that i'm tired. my two weeks of GOGOGO are finally coming to an end. on Sunday i plan to do NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING!!! i dont want to get up until i feel like it, i dont want to go anywhere unless i feel like it. i want to eat oreos all day and sit in my jammies UNTIL I FEEL LIKE IT!!!

i'm close to my breaking point.... of my life. sometimes it just seems like everything around me is pushing in my walls. i just want to scream for everyone and everything to leave me the hell alone! i just want 1 day for me! of course thats a metaphor and i cant really do that....

i'm glad that i dye my hair now... and that i'm naturally a blond--sorta--color. because if my hair was actually as dark as i have it now i'd have grays everywhere. i still dont have that balance in my life i've been searching so hard for. in the last year i do have to say its gotten a bit easier to juggle everything.... of course then i decided to take on another job! i need to break down and start liking to run (but i just hate it so much!) i feel like my biggest stress reliever should be exercise. a walk now and then is nice, but sometimes i just need to GO! i want so badly to swim! thats the one thing i can do and push myself and it doesnt feel as much like work! bbuutt the rec center like to fuck me over and its never open when i need it to be.... or the pool is open for little kids to jump off the board... i can't swim laps in that. i need to, again, break down and just start getting my ass up at 5:30 and going to swim! just do it--right?! i need to i really do....


my horoscope for today said 'just remember time is on your side'. as much as id like to think that the California Psycic on my Google homepage is correct... i'm calling bull-shit. cause i know thats not the case.

well, i need to get stuff here done today.....
have a good weekend everyone!
oh,... and GO HAWKS!!